walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
