So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
