im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We talked him into tasing himself.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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