It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
