Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
