Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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