I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
