When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
my liver is dry heaving
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
