and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
