Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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