Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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