Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
