she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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