That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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