I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
