Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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