I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We need a shit load of segways right now
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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