if you like me you must not know who I am
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
