I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
