the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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