I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize