Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
