I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
