the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
