so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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