So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize