It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
