omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Randomize
