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The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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