escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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