I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
