It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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