You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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