You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
