He told me they were just razor bumps!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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