worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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