Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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