ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize