the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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