Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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