I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
