Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
