i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
