I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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