end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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