I hate your face
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
