so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
