The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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