No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He? As in you personified your dick?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Randomize
