batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize