Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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