I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
