I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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