they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
