idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
