He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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