I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
