I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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