Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Randomize
