:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
